


Rooftop

by candyblues



Series: Middle of Somewhere [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, References to Depression, Rooftops, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyblues/pseuds/candyblues
Summary: Seungmin doesn't really love HyunjinHyunjin knows and Loves Seungmin, I'm bad at this guys
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Series: Middle of Somewhere [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2116920
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Rooftop

**Author's Note:**

> This does deal with talks of Suicide, wanting to die, and drugs/sex  
> if those bother you please don't read  
> take care of yourself!!

On the roof. They were on the roof again. It was midnight, freezing out, the ground was littered with trash of whoever else came up to this place, but there they were. On the roof.

“Seungmin?”

Hyunjin was calling his name. They had been in silence, enjoying each other’s presence as they tried to find some beauty in the night. Romanticize their lives and all that junk Seungmin read on some self-care posts when he scrolled through Instagram at one in the morning.

“Yeah?” He replied as he turned his head to the other boy, a much better view than the town and foggy night sky.

“Do you love me?” 

“Yes.” Seungmin replied automatically without giving much thought to his answer. Hyunjin expected a yes so he said yes. If he started thinking about if he actually loved Hyunjin, well they’d be here for a long time. 

Seungmin didn’t hate Hyunjin or anything, at least not anymore. If he did he most definitely wouldn’t be on the roof with him, besides he only had  _ hated _ the other boy, hate in the sense he hated everything he stood for, his image. Hyunjin was pretty. With his long hair, perfect nose, that mole under his eye, his plump lips, how seductive his eyes looked, he was pretty. That type of pretty that Seungmin hated, too pretty. No twenty year old college student should ever be that pretty. It didn’t help that Hyunjin knew he was pretty, beautiful even. 

Seungmin had tried to live his life Hyunjin free, it was hard given the fact that Hyunjin knew everyone, and everyone seemed to like him too. He had done a good job for the first semester, with no Hyunjin interactions at all. Avoided him at parties, in their dorm building. It was easy, Hyunjin was never alone so all you had to do was listen for the sounds of girls laughing, or talking about how hot Hyunjin was, not knowing they’d never get the man. Hyunjin was as straight as the wires of earbuds you’ve had in your pocket all day.

Yeah, he had done a good job, until that day he walked into his painting class and Hyunjin was there. There were only ten students, and for some reason, the other boy decided to talk to him. Of course, he didn’t reply right away, hoping if he didn’t say anything Hyunjin would go away. Seungmin was good at that. Ignoring people away, but he had never met someone like Hyunjin before. No matter how hard Seungmin ignored the pretty man, Hyunjin would still respond as enthusiastic as the last time. Even when Seungmin glared at him, even when he resorted to saying things that would hurt most people. Nope, Hyunjin just got excited because he “finally got to hear that lovely voice directed at him.” 

Eventually, Seungmin caved. There seemed to be no real harm in being friends with such a pretty person, and Hyunjin didn’t act like most of the other super pretty people. The ones who had made Seungmin’s life a living hell when he was younger. Hyunjin was just super pretty, but he wasn’t bad. Well he did say jorts instead of just shorts, and he seemed to trip over air, but having qualms with gravity wasn’t bad, and some people were just taught wrong so they said jorts. 

A friendship started to blossom between the two. Nothing too big, nothing out of the ordinary. Until it grew. It had started when Seungmin was drunk and Hyunjin was tipsy. Drunk Seungmin always had a tendency to say what sober Seungmin would never.

_ “You’re really pretty. It’s annoying as fuck, you couldn’t have something wrong with you, could you? No, you just had to be born beautiful, didn’t you? It’s like the fucking gods came down and sculpted you themselves, fuck you.” Seungmin rambled, pointing an accusatory finger towards Hyunjin. _

_ “Have you seen yourself Seungmin? You got this sophisticated look on your face all the time. You’re like that hot art student that lives in the library, hell you are that art student. Do you know how much I have to hold back? I always want to kiss that stupid look off your face. Make you feel like the rest of us, confused and shocked,” Hyunjin retorted, moving closer to the other boy, not stopping until he was right in front of him, “I should do it right now, you probably want to as much as I do, going on about how I’m so pretty you’re mad at me. Are you sure it’s anger you’re feeling?” _

_ The next thing Seungmin knew, Hyunjin’s lips were on his. _

Things hadn’t been awkward after that. They still bickered, Hyunjin was still annoying and Seungmin seemed unimpressed. They started going to the roof.

“Seungmin?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you love about me?”

What did Seungmin love about him? What kind of question was that when Seungmin wasn’t even sure if he loved him, and it was midnight. Time to have an existential crisis, wondering why you exist knowing you’re letting everyone down, not the time for pretty men to ask about love on the roof. 

“I love everything about you.”

“Everything about me?” Hyunjin asked, tilting his head to the side, a sad look in his eyes almost as if he knew Seungmin was lying, but the look didn’t last long. It was gone so quick, Seungmin almost swore he imagined it. 

“Seungmin, would you live for me?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking if I would die for you?”

“Seungmin, bud, you lay in the middle of the street for naps, and constantly talk about death. If I asked you would you die for me, you’d go yes right away.”

Hyunjin did have a point. Seungmin wasn’t the biggest fan of existing, living, or being perceived as a human. Street naps were nice, the comforting asphalt, the relaxing thought that a car might come at any-

“So would you live for me?” Hyunjin asked again, interrupting Seungmin’s thoughts.

“Yes, I’d live for you.” 

*****

It was morning. They were in Seungmin’s kitchen in the freaking morning, morning wasn’t Hyunjin time, the morning was Seungmin hates himself for existing time but here they were. Hyunjin was cooking breakfast, eggs, and pancakes while Seungmin was disgusted by how domestic it was. Maybe it wasn’t disgust, maybe it was guilt. Hyunjin was in his kitchen, cooking him his favorite out of love and Seungmin wasn’t even sure if he loved Hyunjin. Hyunjin had to know that, he had to. Maybe that’s why he was in his kitchen cooking for him.

“Whatcha thinking about Seungmin? I can hear your brain from over here.” Hyunjin asked, looking away from the pancakes for a few seconds.

“How much I love you.” was his reply. It wasn’t a lie, did he know that phrase had a different connotation than what he meant? Yes, but was it a lie? No. Did it put a smile on Hyunjin’s face? Yes.

“How much you love me...You’re so silly Seungmin.” was all Hyunjin said, but that smile, it showed he liked the phrase. “You know, you remind me of a puppy. Fluffy hair, round cheeks, and your eyes, when you aren’t looking like the world has wronged you, they have this round innocent puppy look.”

Seungmin nodded at Hyunjin’s words, wasn’t the first time he heard that. The puppy Seungmin agenda was back.

“Are you ever going to clean the paint off the wall?” Hyunjin asked a few minutes later, as he set a plate down in front of Seungmin.

“No, I like the memory it conjures up.” Seungmin replied.

_ “Are you high?” Hyunjin asked, laughing softly as Seungmin cuddled up to him. _

_ “Maybe a little..”  _

_ “I knew it, you’re only this touchy when you’re high.” _

_ Seungmin just huffed in response, snuggling closer, almost as if he was trying to become one with the other boy.  _

_ “You know Seungmin when I saw you in that painting class. My first thought was ‘wow, I wouldn’t mind if he painted me.’ then I decided to become your friend.” Hyunjin said, carding his fingers through the other man’s hair. _

_ “Paint you as in paint a picture, or literally painted you, like on you.” _

_ “On me.” _

_ That’s all Hyunjin had to say before Seungmin got up, leading Hyunjin over to the middle of the floor after he had gotten some paint from his room. _

_ “Take off your shirt,” Seungmin said as he got his brushes ready. “I want to paint your chest first.” _

_ As soon as Hyunjin removed his shirt, Seungmin got to work. Outerspace, the night sky, the stars. That’s what Seungmin was painting on Hyunjin, his brush moving delicately, creating careful strokes the intricate lines coming together to create something big, something more, something Hyunjin. The more he painted, the more erratic it became. Soon he forgo using his brushes and just opted for smearing the paints on the other boy, taking in the textures of Hyunjin. His scars, his faint body hair, just Hyunjin, it was nice, so nice.  _

_ “I want to kiss you,” Hyunjin said quietly after a few minutes, “Can I?” _

_ “Yeah, but you’ll hafta back against the wall, so I don’t get paint all over me.” _

“I guess. Hey can we go to the roof after breakfast?” Hyunjin asked, sitting at the table across from him. “I wanna go up when the sun’s out for once.”

“Why would you want to do that? The night hides all the trash.” 

“I just want to, we don’t have to if you don’t wanna…”

“We can. Stop pouting.”

*****

On the roof. They were on the roof again. It was ten in the morning, and they were on the roof. They hadn’t even finished digesting their breakfast. The sun showed everything the night hid, the cigarette butts, the candy wrappers, discarded pieces of paper. 

“Hey Hyunjin, do you love me?”

“Yeah I love you, I cooked you breakfast and stuffed so much love in those pancakes. You should’ve tasted it!”

“That’s why they tasted off,” Seungmin started, moving so he was laying across Hyunjin’s lap. “Why do you love me? I don’t think you should.”

“Mm I love you because I just do. I don’t have a reason to not love you despite whatever your brain is telling you right now. Yeah you’re kinda distant or whatever you want to call it, but that’s only because you were hurt before. Yeah you go from adoring me to treating me like I’m a big thorn in your side,” Hyunjin paused, looking at Seungmin with that odd sad look again, this time Seungmin knew it was real, “Yeah you don’t love me, at least not in the way that I love you and that’s okay. Maybe I think one day you’ll love me back, or you’ll just pretend to and honestly I’m okay with either, as long as you’re here.”

Seungmin wasn’t sure how to respond to Hyunjin’s mini rant, and he was even more unsure of what to do about the tears that were going down Hyunjin’s face. Was he crying because of him? Why him, Hyunjin could literally get anyone, be with anyone, someone who could properly love him, yet here he was. On the roof with someone who couldn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved. Why?

“Why me? You could’ve easily got with anyone else. I’m pretty sure you could get someone who wouldn’t make you cry Hyunjin.”

“I don’t want someone else, besides they’re all superficial. They only the outside Hyunjin, I’ve tried. Tried to talk to my ‘friends’, tried to talk to the people who all claim to love me.” Hyunjin stopped, pausing to wipe his face. “They didn’t care about what I had to say. How I felt, they just wanted me to be a nice doll for them. You didn’t care about the surface stuff, hell you hated it, and once I started talking you started to like me.”

Seungmin was silent now. How was he supposed to deal with this? It was too early in the morning and he thought Hyunjin looked really pretty when he cried, so comforting him wasn’t his top priority. Did that make him a bad person?

“Seungmin?” Hyunjin started once again interrupting his thoughts, “I just think you’re afraid of love. I know you can love me, I can feel it. If I feed you enough love pancakes you’ll definitely love me.”

“Hyunjin?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you live for me?”

“I already am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry! You'll meet the others!!


End file.
